Tuesday, July 19, 2011

David's Ultimate Wishlist of Interspecies Conflict Vidz

Though research continues to flesh out the fossil record, revealing dinosaurs to have been animals that lived as parts of their ecosystems just as living animals are today, the old concept of the prehistoric monster still has plenty of life in it. This manifests itself in the pastime of imagining interspecific conflict: Triceratops vs. Tyrannosaurus will probably always be the most popular of these, with worthy alternatives in Velociraptor vs. Protoceratops and Allosaurus vs. Stegosaurus.

A more recent addition to the ranks of Mesozoic prizefights has as its contestants the giant Asian tyrannosaur Tarbosaurus and its odd, little known contemporary Therizinosaurus. I've found it portrayed in models, artwork, interspecies conflict websites (here, here, and here, too), but I first realized its popularity through Youtube videos, which are accompanied by spirited debate in their comments sections (my favorite are people who stubbornly cling to their pet opinions, like only referring to Tarbosaurus as "Tyrannosaurus bataar"). It seems that you can't type a dinosaur's name into the search field without finding at least one interspecies conflict video, and thanks to some enterprising Youtubers, we can watch Therizinosaurus and Tarbosaurus scrap.

First, a clip from Tarbosaurus: The Mightiest Ever, a doc by Korean company EBS. I believe that this is a Greek translation for it, but you'll sternly correct me in the comments if I'm wrong, won't you now? The real reason [SPOILER ALERT] Therizinosaurus loses here is that his wrists are broken and he's confused about where his feathers are.



Next, it's "The Giant Claw," an episode of the supremely stupid Chased By Dinosaurs, in which an idiot is sent back in time to annoy prehistoric animals, who respond by mugging for the camera and occasionally knocking it over.



Finally, proof that a bit of can-do spirit and a free afternoon can result in something that puts the pros to shame.



I have to admit: I am a soggy dishrag. I just can't get into these arguments (which seem to have inspired a few of those modern B-movies Syfy cranks out). But if it has to happen, I'd encourage us to aspire to greater heights of absurdity. I mean, we all know what's going to happen in the example above. Slappy-slappy, bitey-bitey, bleedy-bleedy, yawny-yawny.

Therefore, I reveal David's Ultimate Wishlist of Interspecies Conflict Vidz:

1. A hundred Mononykus vs. Carcharodontosaurus: They'd swarm the big brute and crawl into all sorts of uncomfortable places.
2. Four strategically placed Incisivosaurus vs. Giraffatitan: Two words: beaver style.
3. Citipati vs. Gigantoraptor: I see the little dude running circles around Giganto while making some outrageously stupid shrieking sound. For about ten minutes.
4. Pot-bellied T. rex vs. the Jurassic Park T. rex. It's a draw, until Stan Winston strides out with a glock and empties a clip into Pot-belly.
5. Protoceratops vs. Leptoceratops. The most disgusting display of brutality and gore imaginable.

Think you can top me? Want to whack me over the head a few times with the +1Cudgel of Web Pedantry? Let me have it in the comments!

16 comments:

  1. At least those matchups are far more original than most of those I see being argued on forums.

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  2. Deionychus versus Tenontosaurus has a lot of support in the fossil record, indicating that Tenontosaurus was a main prey of the raptor and giving clues as to how they interacted. NetGeo/History channel had a good "reenactment" series that included an episode focused on one such hunt as preserved in the record - multiple dead raptors and a bled-out Tenontosaurus that apparently got lost and wandered onto the bad side of the forest....

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  3. Thescelosaurus versus Edmontosaurus. These two dino braniacs would spend years in the same pasture before either of them realized that they were there.

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  4. I hate to spoil your fun, but a single Giraffatitan individual could effortlessly destroy countless Incisivosaurus by sheer awesomeness alone.

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  5. @svpow - How about if we change it to Amphicoelias brontodiplodocus?

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  6. Though when I think about it, Giraffatitan just being awesome while wave after wave of Incisivosaurus perish in its glorious presence is a totally acceptable outcome.

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  7. Ornitholestes vs. Archaeopteryx

    Pacycephalosaurus vs. Pacycephalosaurus

    Liopleurodon vs Quetzalcoatlus - In zero G, in outer space, both wearing glass domed space helmets.

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  8. Amphocoelas brontodiplodocus? I think I could hear that vein in svpow's head pop all the way over here in Colorado!

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  9. So, watching one get felled by four Incisivosaurus should be quite acceptable, I think!

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  10. Excellent description of 'Chased by Dinosaurs' with Nigel Marven. Prehistoric Park was equally dumb.

    They should be remade with palaeontologists taking turns at the lead role. The SV-POW team could have an episode to themselves...

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  11. Or Horner, walking up to a T.rex, cocking his head to the side, and grumbling "I'm not impressed."

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  12. Epidexipteryx vs Bruhathkayosaurus is something I could see myself watching.

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  13. The orthodontist nightmare - Incisivosaurus vs Masiakasaurus!

    Or a flock of crazed Microraptor swarming over an Argentinosaurus.

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  14. Bear vs. Shark? Oh wait...

    How about Pantydraco vs. Dracorex? XD

    Rahonavis vs. Stubborn "Jurassic Park" Fanboy?

    Great Tit vs. Woodcock? (Oh, God, what have I done?)

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  15. Wait...

    John McLoughlin Ceratopsian vs. Dave Peters Pterosaur

    Search your hearts, you know it to be true.

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  16. I know it's not video, but hopefully will do: http://patriatyrannus.deviantart.com/art/Paleo-fun-244243018

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